Perception of a Dweller.

 I use to wake up as the sun peer down on my window. Heading straight to the bathroom is always the first task every morning. Take a bath, brush my teeth and prepare to school. Then I will have my breakfast.  It happens everyday that it sucks, but well, that’s the thing called “routine.” But a good thing every morning is the huge and old trees here in my hometown particularly in my barangay (a division of small community inside a town). It is aligned beside the roads which give shade if the sun was up. I really love to see those things because it is very rare to see trees that existed for ages in a big city like Biñan. I love how they preserve trees and the pleasure I feel, every time I see them. The school is good too because they planted trees, different kinds of them. And surprisingly I just recognize a Mahogany tree few weeks ago, and if mom did not tell me that that one is a mahogany I can never tell at all. Maybe I do not have such data on trees especially their look.   But it gives me a pinch of joy and happiness that these creations of God still exist and I appreciate how the people preserve that. Aside from these trees, Biñan is also famous about the old houses stood for a long time ago. Particularly Jose Rizal’s mothers’ house. It’s still standing there at the plaza with its red roof and kapis windows reflecting the old life of yesterday. Not far away from the house of his mother, stood the house of his uncle. From the plaza you will walk straight forward and will see the public market beside the Church. 
Lots of side walk vendors are there who sell different kinds of merchandise. As you go along you will see a terminal called timbao-loma, its name came from the two destination places, the Barangay Timbao which is my place and Barangay Loma which is the next Barangay. There, at the exact place of the terminal is the house of Rizal’s uncle. People say that Jose Rizal lived there also. I don’t know if that is true. This house is still taken care of and preserve until now.

Not so far away from Biñan is the city of Sta. Rosa. It is a productive and progressive town. As I go there I use to see a lot of cars, subdivisions, commercial places and attractions. But somehow it’s kind of very noisy. Has a little time or maybe place for peace, for life’s appreciation. We people are very pressure to be successful but its good also to have some relaxed feeling with the nature sometime. Maybe they lack attention for nature works, planting trees and minimizing the commercial establishments. Let’s set aside the works and pressures sometime and find peace with the environment.

How to go to Biñan from Manila:

-Go to Buendia and find the bus terminal.

 -All busses have a plaque card which indicates their destinations. Ride the bus with a card that says Biñan.

-The trip may last more or less an hour with a fare of Php47.00

-The bus will stop at Olivarez, where you have to climb down and find a jeep with a plaque card says Biñan also with a fare of Php 8.00…

-or you can choose to ride a tricycle and say to Manong Driver the magic words; “Bayan” and he will bring you exactly to the plaza. There, you will find the church; San Isidro Labrador Parish, the old municipal hall and Rizal Monument.

Tip: Don’t ever ask Manong Driver how much; just give him Php7.00 no more no less.   

Shattered Dreams.

Shattered Dreams.

Nightmares. That’s what I am going through. As I a matter of a fact I am not like Harry Potter when I am having this kind of dreams. I don’t moan or struggle, instead I keep still and don’t even move. How do I say so? Well, maybe because my last position when I slept was also the one whenever I wake up. I am worried with my condition because I dreamed badly in two consecutive sleeps. But sometimes if I am lucky I had a clueless dream, somewhat like I had a dream but I forgot it, on the other hand I also have some very clear detailed dream which I can tell who are the characters, where am I and I really know what was done after I woke. They say dreams has a meaning, others say “it’s the other way around” and others also say “it’s a vision, a future” or whatever. I have different nightmares, some are imaginations I read from a book, some came out of nowhere, and others related from what I did on the previous day and in the present. But there’s one thing I am sure, I’m afraid of having nightmares again.

I am preparing to sleep again, a cold night so I am wrapping up with my thick cotton blanket while listening to the radio humming a little tune. My mom get annoyed and shut me up, maybe she was irritated about my humming but I get frustrated with her striped red and white high socks. “Well, it’s cold,” I think. I fell asleep sideways staring at my mom who also slept sideways. I wake up, still in my sleeping position, I also saw mom but when I tried to move, my limbs and arms are immobile. I struggle, I am panicking but no word came out of my mouth, I want to shout to mom until my lungs gets out but I was  nothing. I just stared at my mother and I don’t know if I fall asleep again or get consciousness. Alas, neither of the two. I’m still in a dream, second dream from a dream. Maybe it’s to complicated but its true, I felt it, it happened three times. The door suddenly swing widely open, I saw a tree; an old tree. Thought that I wake up, but then again, still in a dream. Until finally I got my consciousness, I felt like iced cold, I tried to be brave and not to cry. I immediately go and climb to mom’s bed clumsily causing her to wake. I told her I had a nightmare and I requested to have a switch bed, she’s in the bed with my sister. I just need accompany to lessen my terror. So I slept again and fortunately I had a good dream. A celebrity.

It’s afternoon when I got home from school. I have to review because we are going to have our midterm exam in management tomorrow. I slumped onto my bed and hold the notebook and other resource papers. I read it and memorize it, understanding and remembering the keywords. Until I doze to sleep holding my notebook.  I had a dream again. I don’t know if that was credited as a nightmare but I am really bothered, so much than you think right now. Here it goes.  A friend of my mom came to our house but mom is not home that time so I welcome her but I didn’t know that she knew our neighbor, so this neighbor of mine drag me somewhere with mom’s friend. Holding their babies they brought me to a church. A very super familiar church. Why? Because I saw it in one of my dreams before. It was full detailed, from the saints, to the podiums and the golden altar. I saw the priest and the acolytes, they also familiar because they are in my real world. My companions vanished and something caught my eye. I saw my sister doing something with the fire, I try to get to her but someone blocked me. A dark guy, an acolyte. His dark eyes locked on mine and so am I. His  spotless appearance, his dark hair neatly set, his height taller than mine and his face, still clear in my mind then I brushed my head.  I got frustrated, I also saw this guy before, in one of my dreams but not in this church but somewhere, somewhere I don’t know. Then, suddenly I woke up, still holding my notebook it’s nearly late night. I managed to eat dinner, read a book and get some listening before going to sleep gain.

My last and worst dream as of now. It happened this afternoon when I ran off to bed and had some nap. I am in a big house, I beautiful house. I think I am in a vacation. But surprisingly I saw Remus Lupin, a character in Harry Potter. I don’t know why he appear in my dream because I read Harry Potter last week. Then, I saw a good car, an attractive car. It was white, has a side mirror like in the motorcycles. I ride it in it, it felt like good. But suddenly I felt strange, the car shake and slowly turn upside down, I try to call on to Remus many times before he responded, because he talk to someone while in the front door. I panicked. I saw my reflection on the side mirror and rear view then it turned to a woman look like Bellatrix Lestrange but she looked like worse. I don’t want to remember her face but unfortunately it was clearly etched on my mind just like the boy’s. I was very very scared. I never get scared like that  in my lifetime so when I broke from the nightmare I stood and half walk half run from the house. It was a bad experience.

So these are my dreams. Categorized as scary, unexplainable and bloodcurdling, in one word “extraordinary.” Having this kind of things tucked in my mind drives me mad. When I wake up in this nightmares there is something or maybe someone who forcefully drags me to sleep. I always fight my self not to sleep again and fortunately I break out from it.  I have to tell or share to someone, so maybe this is the best way to share it. Sometimes I am very afraid to sleep because I am worried that this things can visit me anytime if they want, so what I always do is pray and pray. I know that He is there with me, the one who always wakes me up if I am in bad dream. Well that’s for now, Goodbye!             

A NEW CHURCH FOR A NEW HOPE.

What is a church? Well, typically a man would likely say that this place is solem, holy and a place to worship. People nowadays is very pressured to be successful in life. We are eager to outstand from others and weaken them. Maybe it hurts to here this but this is the truth. Upon achieving this dreams, spritual aspect loose its attention. But most of the Filipinos, maybe, for me, are out of this. Faithfulness is a very big deal.

Our little community, maybe, is a very good example. We a had a very small chapel, way back two to three years ago. The chapel only held a mass for especial occasions like Christmas, New year, etc. So the officials bought a new lot and bulid a new church. Though it is not finish yet, people use to go there to attend mass and a very generous Priest use to go there every Sunday morning to hold a community mass because the church haven’t get any resident priest. Even though the cruch is not very big to accomodate more than one hundred people because of the rickety chairs from the previous chapel, people of our community patiently stand until the mass ended. I realized how religous Filipinos are. I feel really glad to see them exert an effort to have more faith to God. Having a strong faith to God affects tradition, culture and values. A very good example  is the “Misa de Gallo” held every sixteenth night of december until christmas eve.  Even though not obligde, people use to go in the church in late evenings just to worship and praise the Lord, and in return their wish would be granted if they competed the nine nights in a row which is generally part of our culture. I am overwhelmthat Filipinos has a great faith to the Lord through thick and thin.

Waiting for Death to Come.

I’ve been in so many theme parks before but I can say that my last visit from the other was the worst as of now. I really did enjoy the first few rides but when my friends decided to ride the rollercoaster it was somehow a bit odd. I don’t know maybe I was traumatized by the last ride we rode on, but I felt excitement too, at first. So I joined them definitely, because I don’t want to be a “kill joy.” As we go and take into line I slowly feel nervous. I keep on imagining things that I will feel when I am right there in the moment maybe because what I felt on the previous rides. Maybe surely I will scream madly because of mixed emotions. I also hear people say “please tell or text my parents that I love them so much.” Hearing these things makes me feel more nervous, so I also tell to my friends that, “please tell to my parents that I love them very much,”and every scream drives my heart pump wildly, it’s like my heart wants to break my rib bones. One of my friends asks me if I am nervous because I am so quite all the time. Without any doubt I said yes, I thought they were nervous too, but when I found out, unfortunately, I am the only one. As we move toward the platform I feel dizzy, and I think I am having nausea and my sight blurs I thought I will fall off.

Upon thinking this nonsense, I realized something that gains worth. That’s when I thought about the people in the death row or we can say those who suffer and waiting to face their death. You can’t do anything, just wait, while you are madly thinking about your family; how they will live without you, friends who are waiting for you. My point in here is how painful waiting for death is. Yes, I say most of deaths is very painful but for those people who are waiting and very aware of their death; the date, the time, the place where it will be done, and your fears. It will blow you away. If you place yourself to their situation, maybe you’ll think also the same way. I felt that kind of fear too, but I thought what I felt on the theme park was only a very small kind of terror they are feeling right now. So hear I am telling this to you. Let us appreciate life and don’t dump it just like that. For every nation, state or place having this kind of law or principle I am persuading you to stop this because we don’t know the family where this people belong, maybe they did a wrong thing but let us also remember the good things they’ve done. And finally for those people who are in this kind of situation my prayers are all with you. Don’t loose hope and trust our dear Lord, Jesus Christ.

     Finally I sat on the roller coaster, the keeper locked my sit and my chest was over sealed and I can’t breathe because of fear, anxiousness and everything. I tried to back off but the keeper told me that it’s too late, the sit was locked and I have no choice, I rode the roller coaster screaming that I will take my revenge to that silly keeper and cried hardly in the end.            

Secrets of a Seventeen

It’s a sunny day and the girl has to go to the subdivision where she will take her first swimming class. Wearing her tight jeans and baggy blue shirt she walks carelessly to the streets then raises her hand to block the sun’s rays from her eyes. The walk seemed to exhaust her so when the girl finally arrived inside the subdivision she search for a tree to rest on. “I made this so far?” she says to herself. It’s been a long time since she walked this far. The girl lies down with a groan because of her aching feet.

She is too early for the lessons so she imagine things again just like she use to do when she has her free time. But the imagination now is different. Not all about the books, famous authors, crushes, enemies and many more. Instead, she think of about her life. “I’ve gone this so far, longer as I walked this morning” she thinks.

 The girl first remember the funny story of her mother when her mom gave birth to her. It’s the 12^th day of august and her mother don’t know what to do, sweating and panting, her mother come back and forth to the comfort room from the bed because she don’t know if she will gave birth or she just having a diarrhea. Her husband is not around because that time the husband is busy at work. So the neighbor checks her out because she is making noise. The girl’s mother is fortunate because their neighbor is a veteran midwife. It all turned out good and a baby girl came out at around 7 pm.

The girl smiled unintentionally because of what she remembered. This baby grow charmingly and admired by everyone. Neighbors and relatives keep on picking her up. But as the year goes by, the charming little baby had a boyish mind-set influenced by her brother. The girl played wrestling then, brutal pillow fights and also chased by a dog with a bunch of little boys including her brother. When she was acquired at school she was involved in fights year by year. Even if it’s a boy or a girl she never surrender until she reached grade five because that was the most wicked fight  she got involved. A fight with a gay. The face of her classmate got crumpled and got bruises, she doesn’t remember anymore if that one got a black eyed. But behind this manly outside of this little girl also had her despairs. Her birthday is August 12 before her cousin. So the family never got a celebration for her because they use to celebrate her birthday with his cousin. The girl never felt her birthday so every year she always wishes a spaghetti exactly on the day she born.

As she enter the high school life, her mother reminded her not to get in trouble anymore. So that’s what the girl promised. During her first year she really hates how she was called by her last name. She get irritated and ignore those who called out her like that. But aside from that, unfortunately, she got engage in a trouble again. Much worse than before. It’s a teacher. And that was her (teacher) birthday. The girl was accused for mocking her teacher behind her back. The teacher cry out the girl’s last name clearly with emphasis. Even though the poor little girl didn’t do that she never give her a chance to explain. Instead she was sent out and brought to the very last section upstairs. The teacher’s bright red face, terror the girl that she imagines that her teacher will blow a fire onto her. But the girl patched things up and wrote a sorry letter to her teacher.

The girl  changed a lot when her friend introduced to her the word of God, since then she became a very devoted girl. Her devotedness does not reflect on her because she doesn’t too much talk about God but she use to think about a God, thanking Him. And she became more close to God when she enter a Dominican School. She transferred at third year and find new friends.

The girl had a habit of eating “proben” and “kalamares”(Filipino street foods) as a merienda with her friends and batch mates. It is their food every late afternoon while resting. The girl’s day never complete without it.  aside from those food she really never fail to eat chocolates and sweets. She enjoyed her high school years. She joined the c.a.t. program, attended the JS prom and retreat, lastly the graduation.

She remembered who she was then. A girl who always involve in fights, got addicted to the color violet, laugh so aloud, really love spaghetti, kalamares and proben and a girl who has a lot of dreams and has huge trust to GOD and this girl is “ME”.

Upon reminiscing this moments, I slowly falls to sleep. But suddenly someone poke me at the head. It’s my classmate. “get up! Get up! What are you doing here? we’re late!”  l stand up and run hurriedly with my classmate.

yeah! this is me! don't bother if it's too formal.

Who i am in the net world

Who I am in the net world? i can say that this have been a part of my life, just like a typical teenager who use to check my profile on and on even though there is no change at all. Yeah, I am used to that, but maybe as myself, I have my difference among the others. as they say “everyone is unique in their own way”.  Well, here it goes. I have only one social networking site which is facebook, obviously. I don’t have multiple accounts in any other because I constantly forget the e-mail addresses, sometimes, the password and so many stuffs, if ever I have one, maybe I draw on there for less than a week. So don’t wonder if you will found out that I have many of these (unused accounts). That’s why I decided to have only one. Aside from Facebook, I also visit YouTube, Billboard, game sites and Google. It’s pretty clear that I really have to visit Google, because that’s where I can find most of the things I have to know. Actually I go at Google frequently than Facebook. I don’t have a good access in many sites, what are good, what are fun, etc. so when I googled my name there are only three results, it’s what I expected because of my net background.

But so far, our professor recommended that we must have these digital tools for the benefit of us also, so I created a twitter, this blog, a Gmail account and another account to a site under our school. At first I am very stressed when I heard about it, “ugh! I have to remember all of this!” But our teacher explained the advantages we can get from it. For example the “Google cache,” I really don’t have the clue what on earth this was. But when I knew about it, it sounds very helpful and maybe funny also, because it can bring back the hilarious things happened in the internet.

Up to now, I am still adjusting with this so many sites, there are times maybe, that my friends get annoyed when I ask, “what is this?, what it is for?, how will I gonna do this?” stuffs like that. But I enjoy learning with them, they teaching me new things that I haven’t known before. So I am hoping that it’ll gonna work out .